It’s one thing to say you’re ready to do something different. It’s another to DO it. We all know that. But following the article on my own journey of reinvention, let’s look at some ideas that can help make newness happen for all of us.
~~ Face the loss. Many of us feel forced into change. A loss of job, health, partner, competency can create a sense of needing to take action urgently. Our search for something to replace the loss can make us hurry away from acknowledging what’s gone. Grief will be heard, though, so talking or writing about what’s gone can help prevent grief hanging around behind the scenes and dulling the newness we seek.
~~ Know thyself. You don’t become a different person. It means you do something different. Your values stand firm, although some may change after reevaluating what you believe in. That often goes with the territory, this questioning of beliefs. Am I being honest, do I love like I say I do, am I really dependable?
~~ Embrace your resistance to changing course. You’ve always been a wife first and now your husband’s gone, and you don’t want to be single. Don’t try to argue yourself out of being furious, overwhelmed and confused about this new role. Fight with it as long as you can until you give up and hold onto what a mess these feelings can be.
~~ Study how others have made transitions. I was recently taken with the Bee Gees documentary, “How Can I Mend a Broken Heart.” It’s compelling and inspiring. How four brothers found fame and then faced famine, and redefined themselves in order to live productively despite it all. Look around closer to home. Regular folks have stories of reinvention they’ve never shared. Ask questions about people’s lives!
~~ Think ageless, not age. “How old will I be if I go back to school?,” is a question sure to be discouraging. The real question is, “How old will I be if I don’t?”
~~ Look for support. It really just takes one person believing in you to help you on your way. And you never know from whence cometh that person who’ll stand by you.
~~ Dream big and follow the clues. Don’t censure those dreams. Going with a dream isn’t just a single vision. Following the thread has many branch offs, and one of them may be far better than the original picture you had of your dream.
~~ Present your dream with quiet confidence. Don’t start telling someone about your ideas with the words, “I know it’s crazy for me to think I can….” Instead, “I’m going to try this and see what happens.”
~~ Go experimental. Changing is trying, in more ways than one. You may have a plan, but keep it experimental. Hold onto what works. Archive what doesn’t. Correct the course as needed. Scientific method can be a real help here.
You don’t need to hit a brick wall in order to reanimate your soul. Life is short. You can start any time.