I wonder how many thousands of books have been written about the key to a happier life? Maybe it’s like a golf lesson. There are key skills, but each teacher talks about those skills using different language and metaphors and hand signals. We sometimes have to try several teachers before we get the message.
For this new year of 2020, here are some of my favorites to making life happier:
~~ Know that my happiness is my job. If I wait for someone else to “make me happy,” I may live in disappointment. What do I want? What do I need? What do I need to know to live a better life? Every minute is a new chance to look for those answers.
~~ Know that suffering is part of life and not avoidable. Yes, we can drink or eat enough or spend enough to keep suffering at bay temporarily. However, we can run, but we can’t hide.
~~ Know that thinking before speaking will save a lot of grief. My dad used to say when someone made an unkind remark, “There are ten things that shouldn’t be said every day-—and that was one of them.” Figuring out if what you’re about to say is “one of them” can make life happier.
~~ Know that saying “thank you” usually creates a good feeling for you and the person who just helped you.
~~ Know that you can help others feel a little more special by calling them by name. It feels good to see a smile replace a frown.
~~ Know that trying to understand others before explaining ourselves is a major way to better relationships. Particularly if there is a disagreement, this practice can work miracles.
~~ Know that listening is often a greater gift than talking. We want to impart our knowledge, of course. But so does everyone else.
~~ Know that appreciating what one has rather than what one has not feels better. It’s easier to drink from a “half-full” cup than a “half-empty” one.
~~ Know that movement is vital. Getting stuck in a rut can be deadly depressing. Flexibility is essential. Always have a Plan B.
~~ Know that judgments take a heavy toll. Notice the next time you judge someone or some thing the amount of adrenalin that pumps through your body. It travels on righteousness and feelings of superiority. The quicker we can move our judgments to “neutral,” the more energy we’ll save for something more pleasant.
~~ Know that every statement offered about you isn’t about you. I say this over and over, but it’s such an important way to feel happier. What others say to you or about you is how they see you. When I can say, “I’m sorry you see me that way,” I don’t have to absorb the other’s view of me and react immediately. I can take time to figure out what fits and let go of the rest.
What are your keys to making your life better? Post them so you can live them.